Advice

Writing about sex, dating, and relationships often sparks my readers to ask personal questions from their own lives - including secrets, dilemmas, difficulties, and anything you could imagine about dating and sexuality.  I've compiled some of the most relevant questions here, along with my well-intentioned advice.  Recent questions are placed first.  

Feel free to ask a question of your own by visiting SGP's Tumblr.

Note : Submitting a question does not guarantee a response.
Questions may be edited for spelling and grammar. 

Disclaimer:  SGP is not a sex, dating, or relationship expert.  Her opinions and views do not reflect those of a professional.  As with all her writing, her advice comes from real experience, openness, good intentions, and a desire to help others.  Ultimately, you are responsible for your decisions and any potential outcomes.

                                                                    


Q: I only want to be with my boyfriend when we're actually together. When we're not, I could care less. When we are, it is fun. But I just don't know...


A: It sounds like you may have to re-evaluate the status of your relationship and decide if this guy is actually someone with long-term potential. If he’s not catching your attention and keeping your mind occupied while you’re apart, it’s likely that he doesn’t have the qualities you’re looking for. Remember, there’s tons of guys out there that you can have fun with… but only a few that will have you thinking about them day and night. (And those are the ones worth keeping!)

                                                                    


Q: I have a similar problem to the first question, but I am a guy and I have a thing for a sweet girl on one hand and a party loving slut on the other. Assuming I cant have both, what should I do?

A: As a well-seasoned party girl, I can confirm that even the craziest ladies have the capacity to be a loyal girlfriend to the guys they care about. It may never take away her fun, flirty edge and party lifestyle, but if she’s truly into you, she’ll always be faithful. That said, you have to ask yourself what type of qualities you’re looking for. You may be surprised that the girl of your dreams comes in an unexpected form, and the fun-loving party girl has strong values and different personality traits and qualities than her public persona would suggest!

A fantastic addition from another reader:  The sweet girl may turn out to be slutty behind closed doors, you never know ;)


                                                                    

Q: I'm single but currently have crazy whore crushes on two guys at once, one of which is really cute and a good guy and the other can be a total jerk... but he's sexy as FUCK. I know which one everyone wants me to choose, and I know which one will likely end up fucking me over and hurting me more, but i can't help myself. Do I need a slap upside the head, or are congratulations in order for being in the spirit of classy girl slutty problems? XO.

A: You're totally not a whore… it’s 100% normal to have multiple crushes, whether steady with someone or not! From a place of no judgment, if you can pull it off, go for both. Each can serve a different purpose in your life: get your dinners, romance, and comfort from one, while having the time of your life with the other! As long as no commitment is promised, no one should be surprised that you're dating around.  A soon as you get hurt or your wild man is no fun anymore, you’ll still have the safe, caring, and sensitive guy on your side. <3 SGP